


Panera

by PaintedVanilla



Series: days on end [28]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, F/M, Married Couple, Pasta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 18:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10286549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedVanilla/pseuds/PaintedVanilla
Summary: Martha is keeping secrets from her husband.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay dead ass me and my best friend who write together have an ongoing joke where she's like "give me an au" and I go "PASTA" and she hates it and she claims it can't be done so tonight I was like "hey give me a prompt" and she was like "ahem PASTA" so here I am folks hope you enjoy
> 
> No revisions we post like men.

“Remind me why you  _ begged me  _ to come to Panera?” Dolley asked, her arms crossed in the line as she and Martha waited to order.

Martha scoffed, “I do not beg,” she said highly, turning away from her, “I’ve just...been craving Panera.”

“We haven’t come in here since we were in like, high school.” Dolley complained, “Like, when we both had jobs that paid minimum wage and this was one of the only places we could afford to come eat out at.”

“Dolley,” Martha said tensely, “I’ll do anything you ask for a month, and I’ll explain in  _ five minutes _ when we sit down, I swear.”

Dolley hummed, “Sounds a lot like begging to me.”

Martha huffed, but she couldn’t argue because it was her turn to order; she hesitated, before she turned back to Dolley, “I really need to ask you not to judge me for this,” she said seriously; Dolley raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything, so Martha turned back around to order.

…

“Okay -  _ I’m not judging you for anything,”  _ Dolley said quickly, before Martha could argue with her; Dolley slipped their number into the holder at their table and sat down, “I just - okay, please explain why you bought  _ two  _ bowls of mac and cheese?”

“Okay,  _ listen,”  _ Martha said defensively, “First of all, I don’t know if you remember this, but Panera’s portions are  _ small.”  _ she took a deep breath, “second of all, I’ve been having an argument with Thomas for like six months.”

All hints of amusement on Dolley’s face dropped immediately, “Woah, what about?” she asked; Martha waved her off.

“Nothing important,” she explained, “He just - has a weird boner for mac and cheese?” Dolley stared at her, “I don’t know what his thing is! He just  _ loves  _ mac and cheese! And I was trying to convince him that it wasn’t that great but he thinks it is, so I’ve kind of been refusing to eat it for six months  _ but the thing is,”  _ she paused, “Panera has the best mac and cheese I’ve ever had in my life, I was thinking about it the other day at work and I’m pretty sure the longer I sat there the more it could’ve been considered a sexual fantasy.”

Dolley snorted, “What, were you having sex with it?”

_ “No,”  _ Martha said, “I just...really wanted mac and cheese. And if you tell Thomas I’ll divorce you.”

“We’re not married!”

“I’ll friend divorce you.”

Dolley rolled her eyes, “Okay. I’m not judging you or your husband for you guys’ weird mac and cheese boner.”

“I don’t - ” Martha paused, “I would argue with you, but our food is coming. And you know it would’ve been easier for you to just say ‘y’all’.”

“I refuse to participate in your southern agenda.” Dolley said as their waitress set their food down.

…

Dolley looked up involuntarily when the door opened, and she almost choked on her food; Martha gave her a weird look and Dolley struggled to swallow so she could inform Martha of her impending doom, “Don’t look now, but your pasta buddy just walked in.”

Martha frowned at her, before her eyes widened and she turned to look to the door, near which her husband stood. She locked eyes with him and turned back to Dolley frantically,  _ “Shit!” _ she whispered, “I’m gonna launch myself into the sun!  _ Shit!” _

“You have like six seconds to finish your mac and cheese!” Dolley said, quiet enough so Thomas wouldn’t be able to hear her from where he was making his way over to them; one look at the absolute panic on Martha’s face had her dissolving into laughter.

“I’m divorcing you!” Martha declared, “I’m divorcing you  _ and _ Thomas and I’m moving to Alaska - !”

“Hey baby girl.” Thomas said sweetly, bending down and giving Martha a kiss on the cheek; she looked like she was going to scream, “Hey Dolley,” he added, although she was laughing too hard to respond.

Thomas glanced from Dolley (laughing hysterically), to Martha (who looked panicked), to the food sitting on the table in front of her (two bowls of mac and cheese) and he smiled smugly. This only seemed to make Dolley laugh harder and cause Martha to look more embarrassed.

Thomas slid into the chair next to her, “What’cha eatin’ baby girl?” he asked slyly, and Martha blushed.

“Nothing.” she said quickly, “I - I got this for you.” 

Thomas raised his eyebrows, “I don’t recall mentioning to you that I was coming in here today.” he said calmly, and Martha stared straight into Dolley’s soul.

“Dolley told me,” she said, “she heard it from James, so she told me.”

Dolley practically wheezed, placing her face in her hands as she continued to shake with laughter,  _ “I’m crying!” _ she whispered, and Martha grit her teeth.

Thomas hummed, “You know, if it weren’t for me having  _ just  _ made the decision to come in here, not even three minutes ago, I might’ve believed you.” he said, reaching over nonchalantly and taking the spoon out of Martha’s hand, “And you’re  _ still  _ holding this.” he told her smugly, taking a spoonful out of the bowl she hadn’t yet touched, “And here I thought you actually disliked mac and cheese,” he ate the spoonful and handed the utensil back to her, grinning once he had swallowed, “you’re beautiful.” he said, giving her another kiss on the cheek before standing up to order his own food.

Martha stared straight ahead, and Dolley, having finally calmed down, smiled brightly at her, “You’re beautiful.” she echoed.

Martha scowled, “I'm friend divorcing you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Dolley's stance on the southern agenda is mine except I am from the south and I actively say things like "couldn't've" and "y'ain't" and "y'all'd've" so if anyone would like to just stab me at any given time I definitely would vouch for you to do so.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this let it serve as a grim reminder than any AU can and will be written.


End file.
